Here goes

I fear I have become that girl.

The world is on fire and nothing is sacred—including the privacy of thought—so I’ve decided to start one of these things. I feel like a trans version of Amy Adams in Julie & Julia. Except she was really annoying. I’m going to try to be less annoying. Even though this whole thing feels inherently indulgent.

Anyway.

I fucking love writing. I love reading other people’s writing. It’s the easiest way for me to ingest new ideas. I’m a wog with a fast, fat mouth, and sometimes I have to remind myself to shut the fuck up and listen. Reading doesn’t give me the right of reply, which is deeply important. But here I am, running my mouth on a public forum. Good.

I want to say it plainly: I have my father’s ethnic temper. I’m going to say things with my whole chest that—I'm sure—will often be wrong. I can be insensitive. I can run with a concept before I understand the facts. If you can be assed, please tell me to pull my head in where necessary. I’ll take the feedback. Or I’ll double down. Who knows!

But seriously—at a time when language is actively persecuted and censored, the act of fixing words to a page feels like the right thing to do. As a means of archiving. As a means of connection. And as a means of forced processing. I am having a difficult time processing this world. Israel steals a hundred childhoods every day before sun-up. Trans kids’ futures are decimated in the name of women’s safety. Empires are disappearing truths, words, and people with impunity.

And here we are. Reaching for each other. Hello. I’m reaching too.

I think this is the part where I’m meant to say what I’m going to write about. The truth is, I don’t know. I imagine I’ll write about transness. I imagine I’ll write about this world—the good stuff and the fucked stuff. I want to share some recipes because, hello, I’m a wog and all I think about is food. I imagine I’ll write about rage and masculinity and myth and fungi. I’ll write about dreams and being stared at and feeling like a freakshow. I’ll write about queerness and apathy and top surgery and manicures.

If any of this interests you, I’d love you to subscribe. It’s $12 a month and, as a subscriber, you’ll get access to a bunch of extra stuff. I’ll write more personally and in depth, particularly around transness. Also, your $3 a week goes a long way toward me being able to keep doing this.

I’m planning to post about once a week. I’d also love to know what you want to read about—if you can let me know in the comments, that’d be sick.

Anyway. This is to say hello. Thank you for reading. More soon.

Love

Zo x